13 in 2013

Well Hello February. My first realization of 2013 is that I am becoming the queen of the unfinished projects. Sticky notes with never ending to-do lists are strewn around my apartment and unfinished blog posts seem to be filling my computer files. When I left my old job to take time to travel I realized that everyday life’s schedule, repeating over and over, surprisingly leaves little time to do new things. There is so much comfort in what we know, but, I’ve found when you break away from that daily routine to learn and feel so much more. Not always positive, but it brings awareness to who you are. My New Year’s resolutions are a combination of activities and conscious moments. Being home I’ve realized that my comforts have limited my conscious perspective. Therefore I’m adding them to my Resolution list so I am ever so aware and with hopes of gaining new perspective, which was easier to obtain while traveling abroad.

I was so excited to ring in 2013 with hopes that it was going to be a wonderful year. I don’t even really know what gave me that hope. The big 30 celebration this year which is looming over my shoulder seems to be more powerful than I thought. I know I wrote “Age is just a number” but there is something about this year that has a power over me… makes me a little crazy, sometimes irrational, but excited as well. I have come up with a 13 to do in 2013 (in no particular order) and I am going to use Prue.Simple.Bliss and you all to be my witness so that I can follow through:

1. Run Hood to Coast Relay: This just happens to fall on my big 30 weekend, but my sister and brother-in-law talked me into it so watch out Oregon here we come!

2. Complete my first Marathon: I have wanted to do this for a while and with training to run a relay two months earlier I figured why not, Chicago Marathon 2013.

3. Make every recipe in the cook book Forks Over Knives: I’ll get into more detail about this soon, but so far I’ve learned some amazing cooking tricks and my belly has been very satisfied.

4. Add into my yoga practice Head Stand: This is a combination of fear and strength, two things I am happy to work on.

5. Add into my yoga practice Hand Stand: See above

6. Complete my yoga teacher training certification: I am well on my way and will have updates soon. Currently I am in the middle of our anatomy section, after getting over the “gross-ness” of the descriptions I can’t believe how intricate, strong and yet fragile the human body is. Maybe if we were all a little more educated we would realize why we need to take better care of ourselves.

7. Try to learn to appreciate meditation: For a mind that is always on go I cherish the moment I can sit and focus and clear my mind.

8. Start up and cultivate my Yoga Gives Back project: Again a realization I had a while back, one of those unfinished blogs, but I will post more soon.

9. Set a new half marathon PR: Number 5 will hopefully give me a new PR.

 

10. Finish my travel writing about Vietnam: These pictures should say enough.

 

 

11. Challenge myself outside of my comfort zone: While traveling I was constantly challenging myself, and in the end I really liked the person who came out of every challenge. I want to find a way to keep cultivating this growth without having to leave the country.

 

(Trying some type of herb wrap to bring good fortune in Vietnam)

12. Learn what it means to be content: An idea that is both scary and foreign. As American’s we are taught to go for the goal, be number one, constantly competing. While I value our ambition I don’t know if it leads to happiness. It’s a theory that needs some work, but I want to know if it is possible to be content and yet still motivated in life.

13. Have fun dating: uh… er… ah, dating blows, I love when people who are off the market say, “oh I loved dating I’m so jealous that you can still do that”. I pretty much want to give that person the finger. But you know I need to change my perspective and get out there. One of my friends jokingly said “you could blog about it.” Well maybe I will! Yesterday I was looking at a profile the guy said “Loves: Meat, vegetarians and vegans need not apply.” If only they could all be that honest!

 

Leaving Corporate America

“Constant practice alone is the secret of success.”¹

What is success? In life, in love, in careers, we all have our own understanding and definition of success. For myself success used to be equated to financial stability. It was important to me in those early years to stand on my own and be employed, climbing the corporate ladder and being showered with pay raises, bonuses, profit sharing plans and positive reviews from upper management. When I made the conscious decision to quit my job I knew I was most likely leaving all that behind.  I’ll be completely honest with you, everyday I weigh the pros and cons of financial stability with my current situation and time and again the current wins, but it is a continuous debate I have. That’s probably because my current situation is one influx, but after living abroad for 9 weeks this is what I have learned about myself, success to me is happiness and contentment of my mind, body and spirit, a balancing act between all areas of my life. So as of September 15, 2012 I began my year in pursuit of happiness.

With no real direction I had to think about the different areas of my life for which I had passion and use these passions as markers to begin my exploration:

1. Food, I love cooking, but I have always been concerned that if I took my passion for cooking and turned it into a career I would get burnt out. Not to mention I have no professional experience and my only semi-restaurant experience was being a counter server at the clam shack on Cape Cod for two summers in high school. So with that I’ve taken a chef’s assistant job at the Chopping Block, a recreational cooking school for the home cook.

“The yogi understands the faults of others by seeing and studying them first in himself. This self-study teaches him to be charitable to all.”²

2. Yoga, while my time at the ashram was challenging both mentally and physically,

it has been the one area of my trip I am constantly referring back to, whether in my writing, my personal thoughts or advice given to others. Therefore I applied and was accepted to the Moksha Yoga Teacher Training program. While I don’t know if teaching is for me, the spiritual and philosophical aspects of yoga have had such a positive effect on me. Therefore I want to dedicate my time and energy exploring these studies.

“He knows that his life is linked inextricably with that of others and he rejoices if he can help them to be happy.”³

3. Helping Others, traveling abroad gave me perspective that I was blindly unaware of prior to my travels. What resonated with me most was the fact that people were so enamored with the United States and the symbol of success and prosperity that it meant to them. I’ve taken for grated how much my homeland has provided for me. But on my return I was shown that while our country does provide many opportunities for some, there are so many others left behind. Equal opportunity has been a fighting slogan in our country from its origin. So cherishing that ideology I want to work in non-profit to help individuals in my community reach their goals and dreams.

“Love begets courage, moderation creates abundance and humility generates power.”⁴

The year has begun, and with two of the three areas of my adventure underway I am learning new things daily. It’s interesting that I had to leave the country, entering a new world completely outside my comfort zone to prepare me for a year of challenges back home. While I’m surrounded by things I know, my experiences daily are so drastically different that I still feel like I am in a foreign country. I remind myself that if I could survive riding a bike through rush hour traffic in Delhi India, I can survive Chicago. For the time being I’m looking and applying for non-profit jobs and learning what it means to live on a tight budget. I know I will miss the financial comforts that came from my corporate job, living on a restricted budget will be one of my greatest challenges. I know it sounds spoiled and consumerist, but I recognize that I have been very fortunate to have lived the life I had. My restricted budget is to teach me that living within your means and not being consumed with wants will only help strengthen my ability to be content. I’m ready for the challenge and I have a feeling that the stories and struggles that come from it will be enlightening.

“Without experiencing human love and happiness, it is not possible to know divine love.”⁵

 

 

¹ BKS Iyengar. Light on Yoga. Harper Colins Publishers, 2008. 30.

² BKS Iyengar. Light on Yoga. Harper Colins Publishers, 2008. 27.

³ BKS Iyengar. Light on Yoga. Harper Colins Publishers, 2008. 32.

⁴ BKS Iyengar. Light on Yoga. Harper Colins Publishers, 2008. 29.

⁵ BKS Iyengar. Light on Yoga. Harper Colins Publishers, 2008. 35.

Voices In My Head

***Hi All, so there will be more Vietnam to come, I can’t not tell you how I may have gone a little over board when having clothes made for me in Hoi An or how a woman shoved meat skewers into my mouth, vegan doesn’t translate in Vietnamese. But I thought I would get some up to date blogs posted. So stay tuned.

Voices were pounding in my head, news feed after news feed all the reporter could do was talk of death, remembrance of those we had lost and constant cut ins with presidential address updates. More images, the President speaks, and then we jump back to the morning news show and some man is jumping around with the newest dance moves, while everyone else is painfully trying to imitate him. My head was spinning; this was my introduction back into US news and television. I’d been home for a week but my assimilation process was a slow one. When I walked off the plane in Los Angeles and through customs I wanted to kiss the ground, what can I say being abroad has both negative and positive affects on your beliefs of you own country. But reading the customs sign Thank You and Welcome to the United States had me brimming with joy. When the customs agent asked, “why were you traveling in India, Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam?” I smiled and said, “I was trying to figure out my life.” Ok yes the smile held a hint of sarcasm and my response earned me a confused look, but then he said, “welcome home,” and it felt so right.

So after the tearful embrace and love from my parents and Lulu I was whisked home where I enjoyed a veggie meal and after 30 hours of travel and very little sleep I fell into bed ready to crash for what I had hopped would be about two days worth of shuteye. Lying in bed wide-awake at 3 am I realized it was going to take time to adjust. So after a week of very little interaction with the outside world I decided to watch my favorite morning news show, Good Morning America with my favorite morning news anchor, Josh Elliott, he is just so dreamy, gotta love those really tall men. Dreamy-ness aside, I was overwhelmed by the images, sounds and entertainment. As I tried to process the fact that my travels had sealed me in a bubble of protection from all things US, my protective layer was now popped. First realization, I’ve missed a lot; see, I used to have a reputation of being the entertainment queen, ask me a question about Hollywood I could tell you who, where and when. Now I was at a loss, but the weird part was I wasn’t that concerned about getting caught up. Instead I became completely overwhelmed with questions of my own unsteady future, as well as images, media reports and social media updates of injustices of the present. While abroad there were many behaviors I experienced that I had to accept because this was “their” culture. Well honey not anymore this is my culture and I was blatantly aware that everything was wrong. All of this culminated into a completely irrational battle of wills in my head. As I drove along trying to process all of these emotions and thoughts I realized I was surrounded by silence, there was no honking, no chaos, and no people. I realized that I while the chaos of the streets, sounds and experiences of South East Asia were gone, I now was facing a new chaos. While the world around me was no longer new and unknown, the chaos was now in my mind and I didn’t know if there was anyway to be free of it.

At that very thought, I realized that the chaos in my mind was all self induced. A major theme in the yoga philosophy is to gain purification through the mind with the right attitude. In yoga attitude is acceptance, and a major part of acceptance is that we need to understand and accept what we can and cannot control. I cannot change the world around me; I cannot change the way that my neighbors treat their neighbors (figuratively). All I can change and control is myself. So first things first, maybe limit my television news time. While I can’t become ignorant to what is happening in this world, I can be more particular about where I get my information from. Second, I can take a breath, relax, and maybe take another breath, and then smile, because I’m home.